Faust: Childs Journey
by Mareessa
Summary: Katsuki regretted the words he had said to him that day, the words that had gotten his closest friend killed. The guilt stays with him threw his years at Yuuei hindering his hero training little by little until his classmates begin to notice. It's hard to let go of the past for him, especially when the past comes to stab him in the back.[BakuDeku Canon Divergence AU]


_**Cold...they've kept him outside for days...he can't see anything anymore...the snow is too thick...his throat is burning...please someone help...nauseas so nauseous...why why...no...help...**_

 _"Can we start over again?"_

The woman's hand became still as her patient's request echoed throughout the room. Their voice was weaker then it had been when they first began their session with the man lacking any sort of hydration for hours. Exhaustion clouded their eyes with every breath they made adding to the inconvenience.

Her tape recorder clicked and instinctively she restarted it, they had been at this for hours with no results. The butt of her pen tapped against the empty page on her notepad as she stared at the man's forlorn form. Washed out hair sat in ponytail behind his ears, the color contrasting with his skin in a way that made her feel unnerved.

"Of course we can. Just tell me when you're ready."

It felt wrong to lie to someone who had been manipulated for so many years, who had been forced to shut themselves out from the world in order to fit the role some maniacs ideal partner. Lying to him would only hinder what little progress he made and delude him into thinking he was actually getting better.

Moving her hair from off of her shoulder, she swallowed the lump that had begun to grow in the back of her throat. During the time she had drifted with her thoughts her patient had started to pick at the couch cushion next to him. It had started to fray from years of use and months of having been rewashed over and over again in the building 's old fashioned washing machine. To replace it would cost them to much, so they just filled the missing stuffing with paper.

He must have caught her watching him since he suddenly stopped what he was doing and looked down at his lap with a flush of salmon. On anyone else the show of emotion would be endearing but she couldn't help but feel guilt for the causing the man such discomfort even if it was by accident.

"I'm sorry-" The man started only for her to hold up her free hand signaling him to stop talking.

Batting her eyelashes she gave him a comforting grin in hope of calming him down before she was forced to end their failed session. Again.

"What did I tell you to do when we first started our sessions?" She said watching his body start to stiffen less and a lost glimpse of warmth fill his gaze.

"To never blame for myself for what happened to me and to stop apologizing for things that are out of my hands." A wince went throughout her body at the robotic tone his voice took. Defeated, the man pulled his knees up to his chest and kept his face hidden from behind them.

It hurt to see the man hiding himself from her again. When there sessions had first started he had been incredibly withdrawn to the point that he was practically mute. Food had to be liquid for them to get him to eat as she theorized his...captor had drugged everything he gave him. He feared punishment from the staff members at the facility with the conditioning from his captor still fresh in his mind.

Sometimes she wondered if the young man believed that she had taken the place of that despicable man. Never in her life would she want to do so but deep down she couldn't deny the facts. Victims of assault and captivity often latched on to someone they viewed above them, a dominant who could overpower and control them just like their oppressor.

The realization had left a foul taste in the young woman's mouth.

Jotting down a few bullet points on her notepad, she pushed down on the butt of the pen again. "Then do it please." After a moment he finally cracked peeking over his knees to stare at her.

She resisted the urge to smile at the display of a somewhat positive emotion. Slowly but surely they where getting closer to his recovery. Hopefully it would happen soon and they would be able to get the poor man's family and friends off of their backs. In her mind the constant questioning of the man's condition from his worried loved ones could only cause more trouble then they attended to. Anyone could be pushed back into a unhealthy old mindset, even by those that loved that person more than life itself.

"I'm ready...I'm ready to start over again."

"Are you sure? We could always wait till to next Wednesday, you are starting to look a little pale."

Old determination filled the man's eyes as he shook his head and started to rock a little in his seat. "No. We have to do it today."

Her fingers tightened around the top of her notepad as she allowed herself to let out a sight of relief. A good part of her mind had started to think that he would request to be sent back to his part of the ward. Sweat had gathered on the young man's cooling body making him look like he was close to either throwing up or worse pass out of from over exhaustion.

But he was willing to continue and she was more then ready to begin. She flipped to a new page on her notepad, not wanting to mix up her notes and looked back up at the man with hope in her eyes. Both of them knew this was there only chance to get the truth out of him, the real truth. Not the one Hero Organizations preached to public to calm their nerves. Not the truth she watched him write to his family about.

"Before we start would you like me to keep my recorder on for this session or would you feel more comfortable with it being off today?" She asked just as he continued to twitch and fidget as the time went on.

Hurriedly he shakes his head. "Keep it on. I want him to be able to hear this time."

Against her better judgment she turns on the recorder and crossed her ankles over one another, getting herself comfortable for the next few hours. "Let's start from the beginning, tell me about your time at Yuuei."


End file.
